


Lost in the Drift: A Collection of Songs

by KateDoesntExist



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Song Lyrics, okay not always angst but pretty often, original lyrics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-07-05 13:31:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 7,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15864603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KateDoesntExist/pseuds/KateDoesntExist
Summary: Fansongs I've written spanning a variety of events and ideas, all centered around Newton Geiszler and Hermann Gottlieb. Each chapter is a different song and starts with a one or two paragraph description, ficlet-style.





	1. The Lab

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're in his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written: July 6, 2018  
> Setting: Not long after the reveal in Uprising  
> POV: Newton Geiszler

Newton had less and less grasp over his own mind. His memories slipped and faded and jumped in flashes of scenes, people and places. He knew They were hitting the erase button, and he scrambled to mentally block off as much as he could in a desperate attempt to not forget. If there was one- just one single memory he needed to hold on to and keep safe, it would be the lab. It would be Hermann working furiously at his chalkboards or clanking his cane against the floor. But was it already too late? His sense of reality was questionable at best, and even though he KNEW he hadn't seen Hermann in years, he could've sworn they were recently in his own lab at Shao Industries together. It was all a garbled mess of Hermann and labs and hearing his voice, but only bits of it coming through. And he remembered sliding his hands around Hermann's throat. But- oh god. How could that even be? Is it possible he maybe- ? No. He refused to think about it. Perhaps just as the Precursors tore through his memories, they also inserted false ones to manipulate him. Newton couldn't recollect any more about what happened, so he truly didn't know. Like he said, they're in his head.

* * *

[The Lab on SoundCloud](https://soundcloud.com/katedoesntexist/the-lab)

I remember those chalkboard walls  
The ammonia smell that lingered there  
Were the blood and guts, blue and all,  
Mine or the monster's  
And did you care? 

I remember the yellow line  
The metal floors and flourescent lights  
There were no windows in our confines  
No summer sky or starry nights

But you were there and so was I  
Who needs windows with you by my side  
I really had the greatest view  
Maybe that's something I should have mentioned to you

I remember the way you walked  
Your suits and cane and your furrowed brow  
And I remember the way you talked  
I'd give anything to hear you now

I remember you far away  
Faint and foreign, did you say I was good  
I tried to recall that look on your face  
But I'm not strong enough, I don't think I could

All I have now is you in the lab  
Among metal walls and glowing tanks  
Will they destroy the memories I have  
If I keep you there, can I keep you safe

You were there and so was I  
I should have been braver, should have swallowed my pride  
It's too late now, what can I do  
I'm too far gone and they won't let me reach you

But you were there and so was I  
My hands around you as I cried  
I'm sorry if you never knew  
Is it too late to tell you I loved you

 


	2. In the Drift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite his appearance, Hermann Gottlieb is a fighter. And when it comes to the one person he cares for most, he will do whatever it takes to get him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written: July 11, 2018  
> Setting: After the events of Uprising  
> POV: Hermann Gottlieb

Now that the immediate threat of hyrbid kaiju-nanodrone monstrosities have been eliminated, Hermann has time to process the gravity of what has happened to Newton. He thinks about what it must have been like during all those years. He'd experienced his own vivid, grotesque nightmares, but he couldn't imagine what mental hell Newton had gone through. Is still going through. So he doesn't hesitate to dedicate himself to saving one of the most brilliant minds the world has ever seen, and more importantly the mind of the man he loves. He just hopes that somewhere, Newt is in there and that he's fighting too. Because by Jove, Hermann Gottlieb _will_ save him.

* * *

[In the drift on SoundCloud](https://soundcloud.com/katedoesntexist/in-the-drift)

So your clothes have changed  
But is your heart still the same

When I saw you last  
I couldn't shake the feeling that  
You'd become a stranger  
Are you in danger  
Are you still my love

We'll find a way dear  
To bring you back here  
Even if it's tough

If you help me let me help you  
We can make it through  
Through all of this  
If you can find me in the drift

Oh oh oh I really should have known  
Oh oh oh Have you felt alone  
You know I'm by your side  
And I'm prepared to fight  
I want you back in my life

So it's been ten years  
Through the silence and the fears

When the nightmares haunt  
I would have never ever thought  
They'd have gotten in you  
What did you do  
Did you look for me

Amidst the sea of blue  
I can still save you  
And set you free

'Cause there's a spark there in the darkness  
Of our deep neural abyss  
I promise this  
I will find you in the drift

Oh oh oh I know it's not fair  
Oh oh oh Are there monsters there  
Trust me don't give up  
I know you're strong enough  
And you still have my love

Oh oh oh I will fight for you  
Oh oh oh 'Cause I would die for you  
So please resist  
I promise this  
That I will save you from the drift


	3. Until We Meet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was so nervous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written: July 17, 2018  
> Setting: Letters era, the night before Newton and Hermann met  
> POV: Newton Geiszler

The two had been writing back and forth for a few years, and Newt felt a real connection. More so than he had felt with any other human on the entire planet. And maybe he was getting a little ahead of himself, but he thought he might be (dare he say it?) ..in love. So after suggesting they finally meet in person, he could hardly contain himself when his pen pal agreed. As the day approached, he was so excited and giddy and _nervous_ that he couldn't fall asleep, so he wrote a song instead. But he couldn’t have known that upon meeting, he and Hermann would find each other so intolerable that they would cease to be on speaking terms for the next handful of years. It was one of the biggest disappointments in Newt’s life, and he was blindsided by heartbreak. He never played Hermann the song he wrote for him.

* * *

 

[Until We Meet on SoundCloud](https://soundcloud.com/katedoesntexist/until-we-meet)

I really think we should meet  
I'd sweep you off your feet  
When we're face to face  
After dinner let's go back to my place

The academics in the letters we wrote  
Even if I don't own a labcoat  
I can read the lines and in between  
And you might be the man of my dreams

But maybe I'm a little bit scared  
Will you judge how I do my hair  
I'm really not a rockstar, not so far  
But maybe you won't care

I can't stop the feeling running through my veins  
I can't help but wondering if you feel the same  
I'm so nervous I can hardly sleep through the night  
Do you think we'll recognize each other on first sight

I can't stop the feeling running through my veins  
I can't help but wondering if you feel the same  
I'm so excited that I can't sleep  
'Cause I can't wait until we meet

What if you don't like the way I dress  
If my PhD's don't impress  
If I'm not good enough  
Why don't they give out degrees for love

So I'll be all that I can be  
If you might like someone like me  
'Cause I might like you  
No one knows me the way you do

Will you like my voice, will you like my tattoos  
Will you laugh at my jokes and say my glasses are cool  
Should I buy you flowers or would that be too much  
Look at me rambling, you'd think I'm in love

I can't stop the feeling running through my veins  
I can't help but wondering if you feel the same  
I'm so nervous I can hardly sleep through the night  
Do you think we'll recognize each other on first sight

I can't stop the feeling running through my veins  
I can't help but wondering if you feel the same  
I can't believe someone in my life's so sweet  
And I can't wait until we meet


	4. My Creator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He did NOT program her to say that they were married"  
> \- IDoNotBiteMyThumbAtYou

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written: July 30, 2018  
> Setting: During the Hong Kong shatterdome days  
> POV: Vanessa Gottlieb (who is an AI model)

_Inspired by chapter 6 of[IDoNotBiteMyThumbAtYou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IDoNotBiteMyThumbAtYou/pseuds/IDoNotBiteMyThumbAtYou)'s fic [Transcripts](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14415402/chapters/33294645)_

It's true that Hermann programmed Vanessa, but it would be more accurate to say he raised her with love and care while she grew and learned on her own. Early on Hermann considered some of her ideas surrounding him and his colleague to be nothing more than fascinating logical leaps, but despite being artificial, it became clear even to her how Hermann and Newt felt for each other. And of course she wants her creator to be happy.

* * *

[My Creator on SoundCloud](https://soundcloud.com/katedoesntexist/my-creator)

Hello my creator there's something that I want to say  
I've noticed you let your fears get in the way  
When you know he's around

According to my predictions I calculate  
Taking the risk will be worth it, don't hesitate  
From the data I've found

It's illogical how you behave with him  
You're so smart, but I guess you're just human  
Trust me, take the advice from your not-wife  
Don't miss the chance to love and be loved in life

Hello my creator you gave me sight, but do you see  
How his face lights up when you're near, when will you be  
Honestly self-aware

Ethics and morals, contrarian streak  
Did you program in me the defenses you seek  
It's okay, open up, don't be scared

It's illogical how you behave with him  
You're so smart, but I guess you're just human  
Trust me, take the advice from your not-wife  
Don't miss the chance to love and be loved in life

You like to argue, you're matched in intemperance  
He loves you, there's undeniable evidence  
I'm artificial but I know it's real  
You deserve happiness, tell him how you feel

Take the advice from your not-wife and be loved in life


	5. The Matter with Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After you drift with someone, you get songs stuck in your head that you've never heard before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written: August 14, 2018  
> Setting: Shortly after the end of the war  
> POV: Hermann Gottlieb (and letters-era Newton Geiszler)

Newt often played music in the lab even despite Hermann’s frequent complaints of “disruptive behavior”. But after the two drifted, they were both surprised to find that Hermann now enjoyed humming along to the chords that Newt would strum on his guitar or plunk out on one of his keyboards. Once in a while he even sang full lyrics, channeling words as if from some distant memory. Newt found this to be great fun when Hermann was suddenly singing the Smiths or Cranberries. But one day Hermann sang something a bit more personal.

“Newton, I.. I seem to have accidentally stumbled upon a memory of one of your songs last night. I do apologize,” Hermann says apprehensively.

“That’s fine Herms. You know I love when you sing!” Newt replies enthusiastically from the makeshift music area where he’s already arpeggiating chords on his keyboard. “What song is it? Sing it for me, my dude!”

“Well…”

And as Hermann begins to sing, Newt’s heart drops. It’s the song Newt wrote the night they met. It was after they fought and he went back to his place alone, heartbroken and full of regret. He _never_ wanted Hermann to hear it, but here he was singing it before him.

* _First half of the song goes here_ *

Hermann gives Newt an apologetic, but knowing look. Before Newt can reply, Hermann makes a request. “Keep playing, Newton. When your song came to me last night, I felt it was very unfinished, so I’ve written the rest and I’d like to share it with you if you don’t mind.” Newt doesn’t speak, but continues to play. Hermann sings his reply.

** _Second half of the song here_ **

* * *

[The Matter with Me on SoundCloud](https://soundcloud.com/katedoesntexist/the-matter-with-me)

*  
What's the matter with me  
You seem gladder to be  
Parting ways  
Was this a mistake

I'm sorry if I was rude  
And for my brash attitude  
I couldn't help but be  
A bit nervous around you

So I'll understand  
If you don't write me again  
You were mine to lose  
And if we're no longer friends

I interpreted wrong  
So what's the point of this song  
You'll never hear it  
'Cause we don't get along

If our paths cross in the future  
Will it be too late  
Will I find I find the words  
Or once more will I hesitate  
To be honest with you  
To trust and not be scared  
Can we start again  
Or are we too far past repair

If I could say I'm sorry  
Could we rewrite our story  
Tell me this isn't the end  
Goodbye my friend

**  
What's the matter with me  
It took drifting to see  
All the ways that  
I've made mistakes

I'm sorry if I was cruel  
I was young and foolish  
And protected myself  
I never meant to hurt you

So please understand  
That night when you took my hand  
My whole world changed  
So say it with me my man

'Cause we're together at last  
The past is the past  
I know how you feel  
I don't have to ask

We've been in each other's heads  
And we don't have to say  
That we're sorry  
That we both let pride get in the way  
And despite all odds  
We found each other somehow  
I understand how you feel  
Right here, right now

So there's no need for such fears  
I'll kiss away your tears  
Is this what you dreamed of  
Hello my love


	6. I Know You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written: August 31, 2018  
> Setting: After the events of Uprising  
> POV: Newton Geiszler

_(Short song for[sarah1281](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarah1281/) who requested “I knew you’d save me”)_

Newt has just started to recover from years of alien possession. It took a toll on his memory, but he knew - _he knew_ \- there was someone important he was waiting for.. even if now that he’s finally coming out of it he only has feelings and recollections of familiarity. But even though he isn't 100% sure who the person before him is (or who he, himself, is for that matter), he gets the feeling he loved him. Before he was possessed, before everything went bad. And in between, he waited because he knew that person that he loved would come for him.

* * *

[I Know You on SoundCloud](https://soundcloud.com/katedoesntexist/i-know-you)

I think I know you  
From some distant memory  
Did I hurt you  
In the years that I wasn't me

Through the fire, through the flames  
What'd it cost you, was there pain  
When you reached me what'd you find in my place

It's been so long so who am I  
If I don't know you will you cry  
I think I recognize your name

And did I love you  
Before I couldn't feel and I couldn't see  
Well I'm here now  
And I knew that you'd save me


	7. This Isn't You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written: August 31, 2018  
> Setting: After Hermann and Newt meet for the first time in Uprising  
> POV: Hermann Gottlieb

_(Short song for tumblr anon who requested "Hermann looks at all the changes to Newt and just thinking this isn't you")_

Hermann sat down in his messy office surrounded by piles of paper, left over orange peels and kaiju figurines, and yet he felt so alone. He hated to admit to himself how much he had looked forward to Newton's visit. It'd been so long and they'd both gotten so busy over the years. Keeping in touch had become low priority for them both, and though he noticed at the time, Hermann made no attempt to change the course of their relationship. The thought occurred to him that he shouldn't have let Newton slip away, but that wasn't really fair. He was his own person, fully capable of making his own decisions. He didn't need Hermann clinging onto him or trying to convince him to stay if that wasn't what he wanted. It was Newton's decision to leave, and who would Hermann be if he stood in the way of his (friend? lover?) lab partner's dream.

But the Newton Geiszler who didn't even shake his hand earlier that day wasn't at all what Hermann expected. Yes, he noticed the clothes and the schmoozy attitude, but it was more than that. Hermann felt none of the dynamic they used to have. There was no sense of the man whose mind he'd been inside. The connection from the drift had gone cold and silent. Hermann tried to convince himself it was just the effects of a higher paycheck and a lot of time apart, but it just didn't seem right. Hermann wondered what had gone on to incite such a change, because this wasn't the Newton that he knew, the Newton that he loved.

* * *

[This Isn't You on SoundCloud](https://soundcloud.com/katedoesntexist/this-isnt-you)

You walked out the door  
I don't know the man before me anymore  
I turned around and ten years passed so fast  
Is this who I waited for  
  
Is the flame within you gone  
What'd you lose in the war we thought we won  
What happened to the person I thought I knew  
This isn't you, this isn't you  
  
I remember your face and I know your tattoos  
I've had my nightmares and I'm sure you have too  
It's not your fancy tie or your expensive suit  
It's when I look in your eyes and I don't recognize you  
This isn't you


	8. 2:00 AM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes it's hard to sleep when the person you love is so far away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written: September 2, 2018  
> Setting: Letters era  
> POV: Newton Geiszler

_(Short song for[HoloXam](https://archiveofourown.org/users/holoxam) who requested "2 AM-Pining for Your Penpal From Across the Atlantic Ocean")_

Newt couldn't sleep. He had received a letter from Hermann earlier that day, and he couldn't help but play back its contents over and over in his mind. He thought about every paragraph, every change of subject, every question and every response. He just couldn't keep his mind off his pen pal, and he started to wonder what Hermann was doing at that very moment. Oh, of course. He was probably still asleep, or maybe he was already getting an early start to his day. Newt sighed, thinking how it was such a shame they couldn't both look up at the night sky and see the same constellations or moon or shooting stars. England was just too damn far away. Well, if Hermann was just waking up maybe he dreamt of Newt. And wouldn't it be nice if once Newt, himself, got to sleep, he could dream of Hermann too. It was such a foolish idea, but well, he was a sucker for cute, romantic notions. So as Newt laid there in the middle of the night trying to stop his mind from wandering across the ocean, he made up a little song..

* * *

[2:00 AM on SoundCloud](https://soundcloud.com/katedoesntexist/200-am)

It's 2 am here, what time is it for you  
How can I be romantic when we're not under the same moon  
What did you dream of, did you dream about me  
I hope tonight I'll dream about you

If I pictured what it'd be like  
To lay under the stars  
Or imagined how your hair smells  
When you're wrapped up in my arms

Would you blame me for my foolish heart  
When it's 2 am and we're an ocean apart  
In the middle of the night when there's nothing I can do  
To calm my aching heart when what I need is you  
Tell me do you feel the same, I wonder if it's true  
And tell me do you think of me when it's 2 am for you


	9. I'll Tell Ya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tendo is tired of Newt and Hermann coming to him when they need a shoulder to cry on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written: September 6, 2018  
> Setting: Before the events of Pacific Rim  
> POV: Tendo Choi

_(Short song for a tumblr anon who requested "The feeling Newt and Hermann have where they're in love but thinking the other one hates them (but they don't)")_

Tendo couldn't even count the number of late nights in Loccent spent listening to either Hermann or Newt ramble on about their relationship (or lack there of). He didn't mind at first because they were pretty alright people once you got to know them, but lately it was beginning to become a regular thing. He'd sit there patiently while whoever happened to come around that night would pour over the day's events, the things the other said and how flawed their argument was. A lot of it went over Tendo's head. He was an ace with tech, but not so much with mathematics or biology. But it didn't really matter because he knew that wasn't really the point anyway. The point was that both Hermann and Newt were stuck in that lab day after day pining away for each other, but thinking the other hated his guts. And for some reason that meant they needed someone to vent to on a near daily basis about their supposedly unrequited love.

And it wasn't just Tendo who knew. He may have been their confidant, but it was painfully obvious to the entire shatterdome how much they were into each other. It was to the point where a lot of the newer folks often thought they were already a couple, and of course Tendo would clear that right up before a serious faux pas occurred. But jeez, Newt and Hermann may have been the only two PPDC employees in Hong Kong who didn't realize their feelings for each other were legit. He really wished they would just be honest with each other and find happiness already. It was amazing how these two intelligent, brilliantly minded people could be such oblivious idiots.

* * *

[I'll Tell Ya on SoundCloud](https://soundcloud.com/katedoesntexist/ill-tell-ya)

Unrequited love, I've heard it all before  
From you, from him, what are you waiting for  
If you don't believe he feels the same you're a fool  
'Cause brother I'll tell ya, he's got it bad for you  
  
How could you think you're the one he hates  
Maybe consider a couple of dates  
I bet if you asked he wouldn't hesitate  
Just take the chance, there's no reason to wait  
  
Everybody knows, it's so plain to see  
You're both so in love so stop telling me  
And face each other man to man  
If you reach out for him I know he'll take your hand  
  
There's no reason to be so forlorn  
Go on and grab the bull by the horns  
If you don't believe he feels the same you're a fool  
'Cause brother I'll tell ya, he's got it bad for you


	10. Crazy For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one time Hermann finally goes to watch Newt at Open Mic Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written: September 2, 2018  
> Setting: Before the events of Pacific Rim  
> POV: Newton Geiszler

_Short song for[Basilintime](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Basilintime) who requested: "Newton participates in Open Mic Night & decides to sing his own song. Only he’s gotten a bit drunk & sings a song that is clearly meant for Hermann. He keeps making awkward last second edits to take out anything too obviously referencing Hermann himself but its still super obvious."_

Newt was somewhat of a regular at Sense 99, a microscopically tiny avant-garde lounge that had art on the walls and a half painted ceiling. It really wasn't the type of place Hermann would ever find himself in, but after a week of constant begging and puppy-dog-eyes, he finally caved and agreed to attend an Open Mic night to see Newt play. He was a bit late (Hong Kong traffic and all), and by the time he had arrived, Newt was already quite tipsy, to put it politely. Regardless, Newt ushered him in and sat him down at a small circular table where he was elbow to elbow with some strangers who were laughing and applauding at the act that had just finished. The performances were very strange, ranging from experimental noise to loud, dissonant clangings of guitar. After all that, Hermann worried what kind of bizarre post-modern nonsense Newton might call "music". Surprisingly, when it was his turn to take the mic, Newt sauntered (shambled) over with just an acoustic guitar.

"Alright everyone. We're taking it old school here, back to our acoustic roots."

And with that he began...

* * *

[Crazy For You](https://katedoesntexist.tumblr.com/post/177948021857/crazy-for-you) (as performed below)

[Crazy For you on SoundCloud](https://soundcloud.com/katedoesntexist/crazy-for-you) (no shitty voice acting, better singing, etc)

(Spoken) _This one goes out to all the lonely lab partners- er scientists. NOT necessarily lab partners. You know what I mean._

I can’t help it when we’re alone together  
I can’t deny how soft I think your sweaters must be  
Solve this equation for me _  
Not your sweaters Hermann! I don’t- I don’t know, someone else’s_

How do I get your attention  
You’re deep in thought so how should I mention it’s true  
Baby I’ve got a thing for you  
_Don’t give me that look_

Don’t hide behind your chalkboards _Lots of people use chalkboards!_  
There’s no need to be shy  
The truth is you’re the one I’m waiting for  
And if you’re wondering why

It’s ‘cause you keep this whole world turnin’  
I could preach a whole sermon  
I love how you’re so determined  
I’m crazy for you Herm- _STEVE_

Hermann (spoken to himself): _Who the bloody fuck is Steve?_


	11. You Let Me Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not all cries for help are heard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written: September 15, 2018  
> Setting: Between Pacific Rim and Uprising  
> POV: Newton Geiszler

_Short song for tumblr anon who requested "Newt being upset Hermann didn't notice he was all possessed"_

As Newt loses himself further and further to the Precursors, he tries his best to leave hints that something is desperately wrong. Of course he can't be too obvious about it or else his unwelcome mental guests will shut him down, tighten their grip and strangle the free will from his mind.

He regrets pushing so many people in his life away. At this point there is really only one other human familiar with who Newton Geiszler is that could possibly detect he's not quite himself: Hermann Gottlieb. So Newt starts dressing different, talking different. Treating him different. And instead of raising alarms in Hermann's heart, all of Newt's efforts appear to drive him away. After some time they lose all contact, and Newt is alone with only the interlopers who inhabit his brain.

He doesn't want to blame Hermann, but his desperation for rescue drives resentment into his heart. He feels like he's drowning in it, and laments.

* * *

[You Let Me Go on SoundCloud](https://soundcloud.com/katedoesntexist/you-let-me-go)

How could you not have noticed what lied beneath  
Were they so convincing that even you couldn't see  
I changed before your eyes but you refused to be  
Convinced otherwise, and I can't believe  
  
You let me go, you let me go  
Why didn't you know  
I needed you so, oh, oh  
I needed you so  
  
Didn't you think something was strange  
When I told you I'd be going far away  
I said 'maybe we'll meet again someday'  
So why didn't you ask me to stay  
  
You're the only one who can save me  
I'm not strong enough on my own  
You're my last hope and it's fading  
If you'd looked in my eyes you'd have known  
  
But you let me go, you let me go  
Why didn't you know  
I needed you so  
You let me go, you let me go  
Why didn't you know  
I needed you so, oh, oh  
I needed you so


	12. Please Write Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A passionate correspondence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written: September 15, 2018  
> Setting: Letters era  
> POV: Newton Geiszler and Hermann Gottlieb

Short song for [nice_girls_play](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nice_girls_play) who requested: "something from Newmann's letter writing years? Like one or both of them waiting for their next letter"  


Newton Geiszler launches himself onto his bed, letter in hand. He's already ripped the envelope to shreds in the eager process of getting to its valuable contents. It's the middle of the afternoon and preparations for the evening lecture he's scheduled to give are just going to have to wait. The highest priority at this very moment in Newt's life is to read the letter he's just received from his overseas (pen pal? friend? love interest?) academic colleague. Then maybe re-read it. And if it's really good, re-read it again another five times. As he pours through the nearly illegible scrawlings on the page, he smiles. He can't wait for lecture to be over so he can write back. He's so impatient for more interactions, and he knows it's weird not to just email or facetime or whatever, but his friend (yeah, friend sounds good) is endearingly particular about the intimate and personal nature of handwritten notes. Newt can hardly disagree.

_* First part of the song goes here *_

  
At the exact same time in England, Herman Gottlieb sits at his desk as the sun sets, dusk settling in around him. He turns on the small halogen lamp that illuminates a tidy stack of papers sitting there. They're addressed to him, signed "Doctor Doctor Doctor Newt Geiszler". He smiles tenderly. He's already replied to this particular letter some time ago, and perhaps Newton has already received his reply. That's a rather nice thought. And until he hears back, it is his turn to wait. He doesn't like feeling impatient, and if anyone asked he'd probably just lie about it, but part of him desperately looks forward to receiving a return letter from his.. dare he say it? Friend. Oh, even that isn't being entirely honest with himself. With the way he could feel the heat on his cheeks rise when he catches sight of an envelope addressed with Newton's unmistakable handwriting, it's painfully obvious Hermann's foolish heart might hope for something more.

_** Second part of the song goes here **_

  
So there they are. An ocean away, but still connected by the bonds they've formed in their written correspondence. They're both thinking of each other and wondering if the other knows how he feels. And most of all, they can't wait for the other to write back.

_*** Third part of the song goes here ***_

* * *

[Please Write Back on SoundCloud](https://soundcloud.com/katedoesntexist/please-write-back)

*  
I spend my time  
Wish you're mine  
If I write  
Again tonight  
  
When I see  
From: you, To: me  
Do you know  
How much I need  
  
The way you make me feel  
With every word you write to me  
I'm on top of the world  
And that's a fact  
So please write back

  
**  
Waiting for you  
What can I do  
To let you know  
I'm thinking of you  
  
Letters arrive  
I feel alive  
What's in my heart  
That I can't hide  
  
The way you make me feel  
With every word you write to me  
I'm on top of the world  
And that's a fact  
So please write back

  
***  
I spend my time waiting for you  
Wish you're mine, what can I do  
If I write to let you know  
Again tonight I'm thinking of you  
  
When I see letters arrive  
From you to me I feel alive  
Do you know what's in my heart  
How much I need that I can't hide  
  
The way you make me feel  
With every word you write to me  
I'm on top of the world  
And that's a fact  
So please write back  
So please write back


	13. Twenty Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It doesn't matter how long it takes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written: September 15, 2018  
> Setting: Post Uprising  
> POV: Hermann Gottlieb

_Short song for tumblr anon who requested: A quote from Grace and Frankie "I waited 20 years for you. I'd wait another 20 if I had to. There is no one else for me. You were the prize. I won."_

Hermann spent the first decade of knowing Newton Geiszler trying to suppress the feelings that kept welling up because he knew they would go nowhere. He was happy and grateful to have Newton as a friend and didn't want to ruin the closeness they shared by muddying whatever it was they had with foolish, one-sided romantic endeavors. Maybe someday he'd find out how Newton really felt.

When they drifted it didn't just mark the end of the war, but served as a turning point in their relationship. There was Before, and there was After. Newton finally knew how Hermann felt about him, and most surprisingly, Newton felt the same. Hermann couldn't wrap his head around it. Ten years they had spent bantering, yelling, laughing with each other, but never spoke of love. And now they knew. It was the proverbial apple, and it was a gift.

But then things didn't go the way Hermann had hoped. Newton became distant and distracted with work. He took a far off job and seemed to lose a lot of the raw energy that fueled him during the Resistance. But he was busy and Hermann let it happen. This was After, after all. There was no more knowing what was in each other's heads After. There was a lot of confusion After. And there were nightmares After.

For the second time in his life, Hermann desperately suppressed his feelings the day that Newton stepped back into his lab. They had grown apart. And then the truth came out, more devastating than the thought of Newton falling out of love and leaving him behind. He was possessed and shattered and out of control. He was lost.

Hermann thought back on his life and all the things he would have done differently. He kicked himself for being too busy fighting a war to fight for the man he loved too. But no, not this time. Never again. As he watched the closed-circuit video feed of the the monster inside Newton making threats with his voice and grinning with his face, Hermann swore that he would not settle or remain quiet as he had done the past twenty years. He didn't care if it took another twenty. He would bring Newton back.

* * *

[Twenty Years on SoundCloud](https://soundcloud.com/katedoesntexist/twenty-years)

I've waited twenty years  
And I'd wait twenty more  
But if you disappear  
What was I waiting for  
So I won't sit still  
I won't hesitate  
I will fight for you  
'Cause I'm not gonna wait  
  
For another minute  
I'm in it all the way  
Until you're here with me  
I won't rest  
'Cause I know you're the best for me  
  
If it takes twenty years  
I will rescue you  
Through the heartache and tears  
If that's what I have to do  
To bring you back  
To make things right  
When it comes to you  
I'm ready to fight  
  
And I'm gonna win it  
'Cause I'm in it all the way  
Until you're here with me  
I won't rest  
'Cause I know you're the best for me


	14. Serious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermann had always been serious about Newt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written: September 25, 2018  
> Setting: Post post-Uprising after Newt recovers  
> POV: Hermann Gottlieb

_Short song for tumblr anon who requested: "When did you get so serious?" "Since it occurred to me that I might lose you."_  
  
Newt finally was himself. To say the recovery process was difficult would be an understatement. But after months of intense therapy and countless nights of emotional and mental pain, he had started to feel safe. And through all of it, Hermann was at his side.  
  
They hadn't yet discussed Hermann's perspective on the years they were apart. Newt figured it hadn't been brought up because Hermann was doing his absolute best to be sensitive to any triggering memories, and Newt appreciated him for this. But Newt was feeling strong enough to begin hashing through what needed hashing. Them. Their relationship. Who they are to each other, and who they were. So one evning as they quietly sipped tea in their cozy New England home, he asked. "When did you get so serious?"

* * *

[Serious on SoundCloud](https://soundcloud.com/katedoesntexist/serious)  
  
I was always serious  
About you and if you  
Trust me do the  
Math and you will see  
We add up  
You and me makes us  
But did I trust too much  
And take for granted  
What we had  
We didn't plan for  
What's the answer  
  
Love  
Does it confuse  
Love  
I can't refuse you  
Love  
If I misuse you  
It's because  
It never occurred to me  
That I might lose you


	15. Couldn't It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The feeling of regret on a perfect day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written: September 25, 2018  
> Setting: Post-Uprising while Newt is still possessed  
> POV: Hermann Gottlieb

_Short song for tumblr anon who requested: "Hermann wishes it were him and not Newton."_  
  
Several weeks had passed and the link between their world and the world of the Precursors was still live and active via Newton Geiszler. Hermann had made a point of visiting him daily to read the newspaper to him, and to remind Newton (wherever he was in there) that he was still human, that he was still good, and that he still had someone waiting for him on the other side.  
  
It was so heartbreaking to see him strapped to the chair in the cold, empty cell while outside it was absolutely lovely. But the world continued turning, and it hadn't a care for the pain and suffering of the man who both saved it and later tried to destroy it. Beautiful days like this came and went all the same.   
  
And why did it have to be Newton? On many of these visits Hermann would wonder why it couldn't have been himself instead. There was no doubt in his heart that Newton had one of, if not THE most brilliant minds in the world. It wasn't fair he should have to endure such pain. Of course he could already imagine Newton arguing with him over it, saying something like, "There's no freaking way I'd let them have you, Herms. Uh uh. Nope." And despite the foreign man shackled before him in the sunless cell, the bittersweet thought made Hermann smile a tiny bit. 

* * *

[Couldn't It on SoundCloud](https://soundcloud.com/katedoesntexist/couldnt-it)  
  
Good morning  
It's a beautiful day  
That's what the papers say  
They don't know about you  
  
You're a hero  
With a courageous heart  
That's why it's tearing me apart  
'Cause what can I do  
  
Wouldn't it have been better  
To save your mind and whether  
Or not we'd have fought about it  
Couldn't it, shouldn't it, couldn't it  
Have been me  
  
Here you are  
Inside this quiet cell  
What kind of personal hell  
Did they put you through  
  
So good morning  
It's another beautiful day  
If I had my way  
It'd be me and not you  
  
Wouldn't it have been better  
To save your mind and whether  
Or not we'd have fought about it  
Couldn't it, shouldn't it, couldn't it  
Have been me  
Couldn't it, shouldn't it, couldn't it  
Have been me


	16. Galaxies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The most important song Newt ever sang for Hermann

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written: September 25, 2018  
> Setting: After the first movie, Newton and Hermann have been seeing each other for a while  
> POV: Newton Geiszler

_Short song for tumblr anon who requested: "Newmann getting married"_  
  
This was the third evening picnic they'd been on since they officially started dating. They sat on a remote hill that overlooked the town as they breathed in the late summer air and sipped at their glasses of wine. Everything about the night had been perfect, and Newton suggested he play Hermann a new song he'd written.  
  
Hermann loved Newt's songs. Perhaps he wasn't the best singer in the world, but everything he wrote was so heartfelt and endearing. Hermann reclined back with his wine glass, smiling pleasantly as Newt got out his guitar and started strumming. Hermann noticed Newt seemed oddly nervous, which really wasn't like him. His voice was slightly shaky, and after the first line Hermann realized it was a love song directed at him. This was the first that was so clearly and obviously a song of romance that Newt had sang for him, so perhaps that accounted for the bit of nerves. He was touched that Newt would put together something so sweet for him, so romantic. But when Newt got to the last line, Hermann was floored. He watched Newt gently put down his guitar, fish around in his coat pocket, then produce a small, purple ring box. He opened it and presented it to Hermann and repeated the last line of his song.

* * *

[Galaxies on SoundCloud](https://soundcloud.com/katedoesntexist/galaxies)  
  
My dearest love  
With these stars above  
And with galaxies  
I could only dream of  
  
I'd give the universe for you  
The sea, the skies, the moon  
And eternities  
Of sunsets too  
  
Here we sit beneath the stars  
Beneath galaxies near and far  
I ask of you  
With all my heart  
  
To be my world, my sweet  
Be the other half I complete  
The only one I'll ever need  
Is you  
Will you marry me


	17. Save the World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Together they'd be unstoppable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written: October 7, 2018  
> Setting: During the reveal in Pacific Rim Uprising  
> POV: Newton Geiszler

_(Short song for[IDoNotBiteMyThumbAtYou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IDoNotBiteMyThumbAtYou/pseuds/IDoNotBiteMyThumbAtYou) who requested "an Evil Together song? Like they know that anyone who knew what they were doing is evil, but they have been thoroughly brainwashed into thinking that this world is so monstrous that the best thing to do is wipe the slate clean. That it’s all ok as long as they have each other.")_

"What did you just do?" Hermann said in near disbelief as the screen behind Newt flashed CONFIRMED in giant red letters.

"What I've been planning the last ten years. I'm saving the world."

Newt turned and faced him, all the cards laid out. No more pretenses. No more facades. And in that moment Hermann realized it wasn't just Newt he was speaking to. "You-," he whispered, eyes wide. "Precursors!"

Newt gave a reluctant chuckle and busied himself at one of the computer terminals. "Very good, Hermann. You figured it out. And as usual, a step behind."

"Newton," Hermann began.

"No, Hermann. Hear us- _me_ out. Humankind is killing the earth. We've practically terraformed the whole planet, and if we keep going at this rate we're going to destroy the atmosphere, the water, everything! Don't you see?" Newton's voice was becoming manic and shrill. "Our species is a blight to this world. A virus. Come on, Herm. Whaddya say? Help me save the world?"

* * *

[Save the World on SoundCloud](https://soundcloud.com/katedoesntexist/save-the-world)

You're a good man  
As long as the plan goes as planned  
We're gonna save the world together again  
So the means justify the ends

We gotta wipe the slate  
We gotta start fresh before it's too late  
We gotta save the world from itself  
I couldn't do this with anyone else 'cause

They're the nightmares, they're the monsters  
With their desire, with their wants  
To tear the earth apart  
So can you find it in your heart  
To save the planet with volcanic  
Rare earth elements, and man  
It's gonna be so worth it  
Just to save the planet earth  
We'll save the world

I promise you  
It might seem mad but this is the truth  
Things will get worse  
Without help from the Anteverse

But you and me  
It's gonna work out it we're a team  
We're gonna make things better  
It's okay as long as we're together

They're the nightmares, they're the monsters  
With their desire, with their wants  
To tear the earth apart  
So can you find it in your heart  
To save the planet with volcanic  
Rare earth elements, and man  
It's gonna be so worth it  
Just to save the planet earth  
We'll save the world


	18. Don't Cross the Line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two songs for the Newmann Anthology Zine

This will be updated with the full story, lyrics and link to audio once the zine is public, but for now here are some snippets of the songs.

Hermann's Song:

 _Shall we stick to official titles_  
Strictly professional   
Let's avoid any petty trifles   
As we work to a common goal   
Let's not distract ourselves   
With what could have been when we said farewell   
That's in the past and we don't have time   
For broken hearts   
So don't cross the line

Newt's Song:   
_Oh-ohh, oh-ohh_  
Oh-ohh, oh-ohh   
You know, you really drive me crazy   
You're strict, you're uptight   
Admit it I'm right   
Oh no, no you'd never do that 'cause you   
Won't take the chance to   
Let me romance   
Was I ever good enough to earn your trust


	19. About Space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And that makes me feel very small, and lonely, and terrified. And terror can be…exciting. It makes my pulse race, makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck, takes my breath. The despair intensifies the desire."  
> \- _excerpt from[When I Think About Space](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5010898) by berlynn_wohl_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written: January 7, 2019  
> Setting: Sometime after the war ends  
> POV: Hermann Gottlieb

Entirely inspire by the amazing [berlynn_wohl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/berlynn_wohl/profile)'s [_When I Think About Space_](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5010898) (rated: mature, but doesn't get spicy until quite a ways through).  
I HIGHLY suggest you give it a read.

[About Space on SoundCloud](https://soundcloud.com/katedoesntexist/about-space)

In the middle of nowhere on the hood of your car  
I'm wrapped up with you gazing at the stars  
Mortal, ephemeral, and nothing, and free  
You don't know what this means to me  
  
It takes my breath away  
It makes my heart race  
It's terrifying and exciting and it's amazing  
When I think about space  
  
I long to know every inch with intense desire  
Should I kiss you or should I be looking up to the sky  
Are you my universe, profound connection, a clue  
I want to exist somewhere close to you  
  
I ache to know you like a dance in the dark  
I don't care if I miss 500 shooting stars  
In all the galaxies you're who I adore  
What more is there to wish for  
  
You take my breath away  
You make my heart race  
It's terrifying and exciting and it's something new  
When I think about space  
I think about you

 


End file.
